I'm Typing This Post on a Keyboard That is a Hologram

Technology is really cool nowadays, and it can do some pretty amazing, albeit useless, stuff. For example, the keyboard I am currently typing on is projected onto flat surfaces by a laser, and uses optics technology to determine which keys my fingers hit based on their placement relative to the projection. Don't believe me? Here's a photo:

It looks even better in the dark.

Why did I purchase this keyboard? Because it's awesome. Did I need this keyboard? Technically, no. But I am glad I bought it, because as previously stated, it's really, really cool.

Finally I have a keyboard that won't care if I spill coffee on it.

Roommates, Strategies, and Tactics

My roommate has slowly taken over our room. She signed up for a program that allowed her to move in a day early, which allowed her to take arguably the best bed/side of the room. She has complete control over the air conditioning unit, since the on/off switch is on her side (I have to duck under her bed and reach around her stuff to flip it) AND the actual control unit with the dial is directly over her pillow. To get to that, I have to climb onto a raised portion of the wall and balance on my tip-toes, leaning and hoping I don't fall onto the microwave. She has started playing her Netflix out loud.

All of this, while obnoxious, is tolerable, as I consider it a test in patience. I know things could have gone a lot worse, especially since I was randomly assigned. At least she is nice and respectful of my space. Or so I thought. Oh God, was I wrong.

Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, and actually this whole next explanation will probably seem a little over the top. It probably is, but I hope to justify my feelings by the end of it.

Yesterday I was sightly dehydrated and definitely exhausted, and I ended up getting a dizzy/nausea spell for about thirty minutes. I decided to lay down and try to sleep it off. I was in that strange middle-phase of sleep, where I was conscious and aware of sounds around me, but my eyes were closed and I was not "awake". I heard my roommate come in and open my desk drawer.

The act of opening the drawer itself was not suspicious, as I have a coffee maker and that is where I keep those supplies. I told her she could make coffee using my supplies whenever she wanted, as neither of us are overly zealous in our consumption of the beverage and it is therefore not a financial threat to myself (sharing is caring, right?).

I was surprisingly aware of the sounds I heard, despite being half-asleep, and I realized quickly that the coffee maker had not been turned on, as it makes a distinctive humming/whirring noise. I then recognized the sound of a Mars brand candy bar wrapper being lifted, and knew immediately that this bitch was stealing my Twix bar.

I flipped over to confront her, but as I've mentioned, I was not at my best, so I half-sat up and half-opened my eyes, not even keeping them open long enough to fully process an image. I flopped back down, my brain frustrated by the failures of my physical form. I heard her leave the room then, and I knew in my heart that I had lost.

Just to be sure, when I finally was able to get out of bed, I checked the drawer. Sure enough, the Twix bar was missing, a Twix bar-sized hole where it had once been. The betrayal I felt fueled a vengeful rage I didn't know I was capable of. I am typically a forgiving person, but this time she had gone too far.

The natural question this raises is "Why is this such a big deal? It's just a candy bar?" The answer is that it isn't the loss of the chocolate itself, but the fact that I was stolen from while I was napping! How untouchable does this bitch think she is? What else has she taken? Why did she feel the need? I don't steal her food! I don't even touch her fridge! She thinks she's better than me, and she needs to learn her lesson.

This is the part where strategy and tactics comes in. I want revenge. However, this revenge has to be played out so that she doesn't realize it's me who's doing it. I want her to think she is responsible for her own suffering. She has imposed her law, her strategy. She sets the temperature, she decides who gets to eat my food.

Everyone around me suggests "talking to her", but I can't do that. This has gone too far for diplomatic reasoning to work. She stole from under my nose, while I was in the room napping literally four feet away. I am too proud to allow such injustice to happen without punishment. I just need a plan.

My primary target would be the A/C unit, I just don't know what to do. My initial thought was to see if I could break the circuit in the switch and re-complete it each time she called maintenance, but I don't necessarily have the tools to do that. She likes to leave the window open even when she leaves the room, so I considered putting some egg on the outer windowsill and letting the smell waft in, but there's no guarantee she'll open the window before it rains and washes away (especially with the rainy season starting up again). My most unrealistically possible, but also most creative idea was to take bananas and rub them on her clothes (just enough that she wouldn't notice) because one of the chemicals in bananas is a pheromone that attracts bees, and it would be scary and confusing to her as they periodically landed on her.

I'll admit some of those are not tactical by definition, and I should really try to focus in on something that she could cause herself. Or I could let it go, since our rooming situation ends in a month. I'll just have to play it by ear.

Surveillance

Surveillance is an interesting phenomenon because the whole premise of it is that at any given time someone could do something worth recording. There's no guarantee that any of it will actually be meaningful or important at all. To surveil seems to be an expensive and effortful activity that is more often than not pointless.

Yet on the other hand, I understand the "better safe than sorry" mentality of those who surveil. While gathering information on a person doesn't necessarily prevent anything bad from happening, there is the chance that it could, and, if anything, the perpetrator of the incident would be known about and therefore easier to catch.

The problem is that surveillance isn't always all that effective, especially in everyday life. Cameras get put up in stores, but customers still shoplift. Security checks bags at theme parks, but anyone can sneak anything in in their pockets. Sure, it can be argued that security and surveillance "discourage" this type of behavior, but the answer to the question of whether or not that is enough can still be debated.

Personally, I don't care either way. If I'm being watched, great, I don't do anything suspicious anyway. If I'm being ignored, great, I'm not all that exciting. People who are determined are going to do what they want regardless of whether or not someone is watching them. Until surveillance becomes 100% preventative, something that I cannot imagine will ever happen, it remains little more than an abstract threat to the average individual.